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| Aunt Flo from popular and bizarre 70s children's cartoon, Bod. Did they know?? |
The other day, I shared a post about a woman’s recent thesis
about the taboo of menstruation with the following words: ‘Ffs. It happens to
half the population of the world. Let's talk about it.’ And quite a few women
did want to talk about it. For too long, the
stigma of menstruation and having the biological equipment that enables it, has
forced the vast majority of the menstruating population into hushed
conspiratorial tones and a look of embarrassment whenever the topic rarely
rears its head. Until very recently, all adverts regarding sanitary products contained blue liquid and women in very tight white jeans jumping about to
upbeat music. Ask anyone who has ever menstruated and they will tell you that
this is about the last thing you feel like doing and white anything is a
massive, massive risk. And you won’t be accidentally dying your underwear blue
either.
Some anecdotal facts about my menstruating experiences:
Blood
·
I have messed up two hotel beds in my life. This is crushingly
embarrassing.
·
I started my period at school just before a chemistry lesson,
and the sanitary towel the school nurse gave me looked and felt like a small
mattress in my knickers. When I returned to the lab, I was convinced all the
boys could see it poking my skirt out like some kind of compacted cotton wool
banana.
·
I was introduced to my new immediate manager at a school (a man)
at a Teacher Training Day who put out his hand to shake mine, but I couldn’t
shake his because I had a tampon concealed in my right hand and up the sleeve
in a ‘manoeuvre of shame’ and was on my way to the toilet at the time. Cue
embarrassed shuffling, rustling and sleight of hand repositioning of the offending
item worthy of Paul Daniels. Actually it wasn’t smooth. He saw it and got
equally flustered.
·
I used to avoid male checkout staff if I was buying sanitary
items because of, you know, the shame of it all.
·
I used to go out with a Tunisian man who genuinely believed that
when you were on your period, you should not wash or allow any water to come
into contact with your lady parts. He had two sisters who apparently observed
this rule and goodness knows what kind of hideous discomfort they must have
gone through every month.
Sweat
·
Periods seem to make my body temperature rise and I don’t sleep
well during mine. I have heard other women talk about this too, though it doesn’t
seem like it’s a widely known phenomenon. However, I used to go out with
someone who complained about sharing a bed with a woman on her period because
it was like sleeping next to a furnace. Try being
the furnace! Obviously his empathy knew no beginnings, unlike his sense of
entitlement which knew no bounds. He also refused to ride buses because of
their working class associations. I’m not
entirely convinced these things are not linked. Funnily enough, the
relationship did not last.
Tears
·
Sometimes my cramps are so bad that I feel like crying. Once, in
an exam, I sat there with silent tears running down my face unable to write
more than a page of mediocre scribble, which was unfortunate because this was
an English exam. But mostly I am very stoic though I am known to groan a bit.
Not everyone experiences pain and suffering. Maybe a few drops
of blood here and there and no cramps like my lucky sister who tells me of her
quick wipe and then done monthly event. But some people, like me, have a truly
spongy and prodigious womb lining experience on a regular basis. For example, I
once tutored a young woman who had periods so bad that she vomited and had
diarrhoea every month. I had to leave her house mid-session because she was too
ill for the tutoring. As well
as looking ashen and clearly being in a great deal of pain, she was also very
embarrassed to tell me why she was so ill.
So what do these experiences tell me? They tell me that in spite
of living in a relatively progressive country in such matters, we still have a
very long way to go. The amount of ignorance surrounding menstruation is
astonishing. Apparently, some men still believe that periods can be held in at
will, like urine, and that any accident is a result of slovenly behaviour
rather than something entirely involuntary. And the lack of understanding from
non-menstruating human beings about the debilitating effects of menstruation, both
physical and in terms of stigma and shame, not to mention the financial burden,
is widespread and contributes to continuing suffering here and abroad. Period poverty is an issue in the UK whereby girls and women are missing school or
work, or having to choose between food and sanitary items because they just
can’t afford them. This should not be happening in a civilised society.
Women and girls should not be made to feel ashamed for a
biological function that ultimately results in the existence of every single
human being who walks the globe and who has ever done so.
On an optimistic note, I have to extol the virtues of the glorious menstrual cup. For someone who struggled with tampons until my late
twenties, the idea of shoving something with a rather wider circumference into
my vagina did not appeal. And indeed, I did struggle with it when I first
bought it over five years ago. However, I decided to give it another go this
year after getting some tips on insertion from the wonderful women at No More Taboo, a not-for-profit social enterprise who tackle period poverty and challenge
taboos around menstruation. Six months on and I am pleased to say that the
combination of the cup and reusable pad means I am no longer shelling out for
disposable sanitary products every month (sticking it to The Man), or
cluttering up landfill, or subjecting my delicate areas with irritating
chemical treated cotton wool. I can honestly say that I get fewer cramps. And
you can leave the cup in pretty much all day and sort it out when you get home.
That said, I have mastered the wash out in public bathrooms as well so it’s all
good. And far from being icky and disgusting, it is actually a more hygienic
alternative to more conventional methods.
The fact that menstruation is still considered a taboo topic, a 'dirty shame' the world over,
tells us all we need to know about how much the world hates women. This is one
part of the struggle for true equity but a fundamental one, as ideas about
women's bodies and attempts to control and deny our basic biological functions
underpin so many other dysfunctional behaviours towards women and girls.
Perhaps when we start educating everyone properly, properly, about menstruation, men and boys as well, and treat the
process with the respect it deserves, we will see an end to the segregation of
women and girls during menses from communities in developing parts of the
world. This has resulted in actual deaths. Perhaps this destigmatisation of the
so-called ‘mysteries’ of female biology will result in a greater respect for
female bodily autonomy. Perhaps we will see an end to a tax on essential sanitary items which is without question a tax on female biology. Perhaps we will also
see an end to other terrible behaviours towards women, like FGM, as women and
girls gain a greater understanding of their own bodies and what a healthy one
looks and feels like.
The last time I had my period, I took a hot water bottle to work
tutoring. My two male students asked me why. I told them. Period pain. I would
not have shared that information a few years ago. In fact, I would have left
the hot water bottle at home as I would have prioritised their potential
discomfort at learning their tutor was an adult woman who menstruates above my
own very real physical pain. Did they faint? Nope. They filled it up with hot
water for me. Perhaps, finally, the times are changing. I certainly hope so.
